How do you reply to wedding or funeral notices?
In short
Good to knowReply to wedding invitations as early as possible before the deadline. Funerals usually have no invitation; if you cannot attend, offer condolences in a way that does not burden the family.
When does this apply?
Wedding invitations often arrive several months ahead, and an early reply is appreciated because seats and meals must be arranged. Many people add a short congratulatory note on the reply card. In such messages, words that suggest parting, such as "separate" or "end", and repeated words are traditionally avoided.
Why?
It lets the hosts confirm numbers and prepare. The choice of words comes from not wanting to bring anything unlucky to a celebration.
What to do
- Send your wedding reply well before the deadline
- If you cannot attend, decline with a few warm words of congratulations
- If you cannot attend a funeral, express condolences in a way that does not burden the family
Better to avoid
- Let the deadline pass without replying
- Use words suggesting parting or repetition in a congratulatory message
Exceptions and differences
More and more invitations now ask you to reply online. Traditional reply cards have their own writing conventions, so ask people around you or the venue if unsure.
Manners can differ by region, facility and generation. Local signs and staff instructions come first.
Check with a quiz
You receive a wedding invitation. What do you do?
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Sources
- Japanese Weddings: Practices and Pitfalls(opens in a new tab)
- Funeral Etiquette in Japan(opens in a new tab)
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